This week I suppose has been quite odd. I don’t mean that strange things have happened just that I have been dealing with things that I started to address a few weeks ago.
As an only child you would think I would crave attention as that is a big part of being an only child or as like to call the effect ‘spoilt brat syndrome’. However I hate being centre of attention, whether its in the form of praise or criticism or even concern. It all makes me feel uncomfortable. I know a lot of people have been concerned about me lately but apparently I have been concerning people for a while. It turns out some family members were concerned about me at Christmas. Now thats fair enough as I when they saw me I was ill with a bad cold/flu thing and it had taken a lot out of me. Thats all it was but I suppose its only natural to think what else could be wrong. I found this out this week and it unnerved me a bit. I don’t know why because nothing was wrong and it is good that they do care and are concerned. At the same time this week I also found myself at the centre of gossip. It wasn’t as if they had said something I had told them, they had been speculating thats all. Now I’m not stupid its a fact that people talk about people and we all speculate , its natural. However discretion is usually involved and although it was done in a non offensive way I was still upset and led me to have to talk to some people in a less personal way that I had planned. Maybe I reacted badly and didn’t need to do this but basically it just freaked me out. I suppose I was trying to stay in control of things and that is not always possible and I need to get used to this.
Continuing on from last weeks developments I have also been more open with some people this week. Some people I have spoken to direct and others less direct and there are still lots of people I want to talk to. People are not being told in any sort of order its just trying to pick the best moment. It has been good though, especially the face to face chats. Its great to be open with people and I am loving my friends even more because of it. I hope they all know that they can be open with me whenever they want as well. Thanks to all of you for your time so far.
On the subject of rumours that was the theme to this weeks Glee episode, which featured the music from Fleetwood Macs ‘Rumours’ album. I actually wasn’t impressed as much with the episode or the songs but its funny how once again the show seems to be reflecting aspects of my life. Or am I just reading too much into that. While discussing Glee I was annoyed to hear that Glee is moving to SKY from the next series. This is bad news for a lot of fans as only SKY customers can watch it. I understand why Channel 4 haven’t got the rights because no TV series is worth £12 million. If SKY want it that bad then fair enough but it will probably mean a drop in audience figures although DVD sales will go up. Its a shame there is now way the two companies could share. Maybe SKY gets its first then a Channel 4. I suppose it will save me money as I won’t buy as much from iTunes.
For most of the week I have been really tired. I suppose its a combination of things. I have had a lot on my mind lately which some people know about and I am still digesting this I suppose which is probably affecting my sleep. Also I have been busy at work lately and in a major need for a holiday. I have now booked some time off work although not planned any trips/holiday yet. I am also not getting enough sleep. Every morning between 4-5am!!!! Yes that early I get woken up by a bird singing its little heart out. This should be lovely and fill my heart with joy. Maybe a few hours later it would but not at that time of the morning. Go back to sleep then I hear you all say. Which yes I could do but during the week my alarm goes off at 6am so by the time I have gone back to sleep my alarm then wakes me up. Once or twice this might be ok but it is everyday at the moment. The sooner the birds have all had their chicks and go the better I think. I know thats sounds harsh and grumpy but I just want some sleep. Also during the week while feeling really tired and finally dragging myself out of bed I was met by the unpleasant sight of cat sick. I know there is never a good time to deal with this but first thing on a morning with a lack of sleep and no coffee is certainly one of the worst times. Anyway I sorted it all and the cat was fine she just eats her food to quick.
This week I also got to watch The Kings Speech. I thought it was great film, with great actors and a good script and deserves the success its had. If I was to be picky I would say that although Colin Firth is amazing in it he should have got the Oscar for A Single Man instead. however we all know the Oscars are more about it being your time rather than being rewarded for your best work. Also Geoffrey Rush certainly should have got Best Supporting Actor for his role. It is certainly one of my favourite films of the year although I think Black Swan is still ahead.
So until next week thats it.
Top TV programme of the week : The Andrew Marr Show – Obama Interview
Top song of the week: Lady Gaga – Judas
Book I am currently reading: Daughter of Fortune by Isabel Allende