I hope you have all had a good week and that you have got the chance to read my summer reading blog entry the other day.
The reason I decided to do the summer reading blog post was because I love talking about books and a number of people have been talking about ideas for summer reading. So I thought I would just put together a list of books that I have read and think would be good for holiday reading, so I hope you find it useful.
Anyway back to my week. This week has been long. OK I know its not longer than normal it has just felt like that. I was at work on the Bank Holiday Monday which I suppose added to the long feeling. I have also had things to sort out this week as I had to catch up with some people this week. It was really good to catch up and it helped clarify somethings, which I will go into later on.
Last night was the mid series finale to Dr Who. Personally I don’t think it needs a mid series break and this is just an excuse to drag it out for a longer time. I know some of you might not have watched it so don’t want to spoil it but it is a good episode and it turns out I was right about my theory. Overall though I haven’t been impressed with this series of Dr Who or in fact with Matt Smith as the Doctor. I suppose it was always going to be hard for whoever took over from David Tennant as in my opinion he is one of the best Doctor Who’s.
This week I also watched the film version of The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. As I was growing up the Narnia books were a big part of my childhood and are ‘untouchable’ in my opinion. In the 80’s the BBC did some great adaptations of the books, so when I heard they were going to be made into films I was excited but so far I had always been unimpressed. So I had held off from watching the latest film because of this. The film started off OK but soon artistic license took over and once again I was left unimpressed. I don’t know whats so difficult for the film makers with these books. Just follow the book and you can’t go wrong. The books have entertained people for years so the story works so stick to it. The only good thing was the guy who played Eustace as he was brilliant in the role and totally got the character. Hopefully if they do anymore films they will improve them.
Ok now for the serious bit of my blog. I have debated with myself whether to mention this on my blog or not, but I have decided that I will. Over the last 12-18 months I have not been myself especially in recent months. I have had a lot going on personally and its been tough to deal with. What I didn’t realise is that I worried so many people close to me. I suppose I am not usually the type of person who is open with his feelings I always think well everyone has enough to worry about I don’t want to add to it. Turns out people do want to know and that they care so much. Well I have now spoken to those close to me and I now am at the stage where I don’t care who else knows. The issue that I have been dealing with is that I am gay. It is still a big thing to say or in this case type but it is getting better. I am at the stage in my life where I have to start being honest with myself and to those around me. Many people have asked “how long have you known?” and the answer is I suppose I always have but up until the last 12-18 months I had blocked out, it was something I couldn’t deal with. Once I started to accept it I realised that I was going to have to start to tell people. I suppose turning 30 this year was a small trigger for this. No its not some sort of midlife crisis it is how I am but turning 30 really did make me look at myself as an adult. I have started to put myself first and be more confident in myself and with other people. Although it is good to finally ‘come out’ a friend pointed out to me that I have missed out on so much and he was totally right and I now have to start living my life.
Telling those close to me wasn’t easy. I started off talking to someone who knew me and had been through it. I suppose this was the most important talk I have ever had as he really gave me the confidence to move on and tell others. I can’t thank him enough for this support. Then I told some close friends I work with. They had worried about me for a while and I knew I had to tell them. Some people might wonder why I didn’t tell my family first. The reason was I wasn’t sure how people would react and yes this goes for friends as well although in my head it made more sense to tell some friends first because if they were OK then I knew I had a support network in case things went wrong. My friends were great and once again I can’t say thank you enough to you all for your support. Now I told some friends I knew I had to tell my parents. This was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do in my life and is now my benchmark on dealing with tough decisions. If I can have that conversation then any other conversation is easy. I was lucky though my parents have been 110% supportive and in a way its made is all closer. I know this isn’t always the case for people when tell family so I do appreciate how lucky I am. After this I have been gradually telling more people. Where possible I have done this face to face but sometimes I have to do it via messages. So far everyone has been amazing and I am grateful for all the support I have received. For those of you who know me I want to stress nothings going to change about me. I have always been like this and I will stay the same personality wise and I don’t want to be treated any different.
This week I heard about a project called ‘It Gets Better’. The project is aimed mainly at young people who are starting to accept their sexuality. although I feel I have discovered this a month to late it is still a fantastic site and I urge you all to watch some of the videos but warning you may cry a bit. I have put a link to the site on the Blogs I like list on the right hand side of this blog.
Thanks for reading this blog. I hope this has helped clear up somethings for people and if people want to talk to me then let me know.
Top TV programme of the week : Dr Who
Top song of the week: Nicole Scherzinger – Don’t Hold Your Breath
Book I am currently reading: Daughter of Fortune by Isabel Allende