This last week has been a long and tiring one. It is always the same when you have had time off you seem to spend the week just catching up with stuff. Once I finally did then it will happen again in a weeks time as I off for another week. Hopefully I won’t get as anxious as I did the other week. I can’t promise anything though.

Some of you who know me will know that I a m a volunteer with a local hospital radio station. It is something I do enjoy doing and have done for many years now. As a volunteer I get a lot out of being involved in something that hopefully people enjoy. I am not alone in this though. Across the country there are thousands if not millions of volunteers doing amazing work. This number sounds impressive however it is dwindling. David Cameron keeps talking about the Big Society but when it comes down to it most people don’t care. My political beliefs differ greatly from Cameron but the idea that we all get involved in our community is something that I do agree with. I know people have commitments but if you look there are many charities who will be grateful of just a few hours a week. People probably waste more time than this online on Facebook etc. I know I am getting on my high horse here but just think if people stopped volunteering altogether then there would be no hospital radio, brownies, scouts, dance groups, drama groups, hospices, RNLI, air ambulance, etc. All of these things we have just accepted as the norm in society. But without people getting involved and doing their bit then they won’t exist. Many organisations are down to minimum volunteers and may have to close if more leave. So please do think about getting involved in something in your area.

OK thats my lecture over. I’m sorry to have done it but it is something that over the last week has been on my mind so I felt it was fitting to put in the blog.

This week I was at a BBQ. Well I say BBQ that is what the intention of it was but due to the unreliability of the weather they decided to opt for the grill/oven. I know this doesn’t have the same effect but it was much more practical and everyone seemed to have a good time. Basically as a country the UK is not designed for BBQ’s. It is not usually hot enough and once you have decided to have one you guarantee it will rain. Hopefully next year we will be able to have a BBQ outside.

This week also saw the last ever Space Shuttle launch. I found this quite a sad event. All my life I have grown up with Space Shuttle launches in the news. I suppose most boys while growing up were/are fascinated by the idea of space. Just the very mention of it will bring out the geek in most boys and also some girls. My interest in all of this grew when I visited the Kennedy Space Centre in Florida. This is where the Apollo missions and the Space Shuttle launches happened. while there I could people working on parts for the International Space Station and it genuinely blew my mind that we, the human race can actually leave this planet and create another area to live in. It is simply amazing. However once Space Shuttle Atlantis arrives back to Earth, that will be it for this mode of transport/exploration. Just think we are more technologically advanced than when we first went into space but we don’t seem to be building upon this. A few years ago I read a brilliant book call ‘Moondust’ by Andrew Smith. It is about the author Andrew Smith meeting all of those who were involved with the Apollo missions and landed on the moon. He says that in not too long there will be no one left alive who has been to the moon. This shows how much we are stepping backwards in an area that we should be investing in. If any of you have even the slightest interest in space then I highly recommend this book to you.

This week I learnt that the idea of ‘date night’ is very popular. Now before any of you ask this does not involve me as my love life is non existent. However I noticed that many of my friends last week were having ‘date nights’. It shows how out of the loop I am. As I didn’t think it was so popular but obviously I’m wrong. It is quite a good idea to set aside 1 night a month to do something with your other half but somehow timetabling it surely makes it quite a formal event like a business meeting or going to the dentist (I know they are not the best examples). Why not just do something spontaneous? Maybe I have just missed the point or its the way I’m feeling at the moment.

I think the idea of a date night really struck home with me this week because I have had one of my low weeks. Now I only have myself to blame and I have been doing things such as the BBQ and catching up with friends. It is just that I have moved on in my life quite a lot this year and I suppose if I am honest I don’t know how to move on to the next step. Since ‘coming out’ the support I have had has been amazing and I do have the best friends and family that I could wish for. It is just I need to get myself out more and I suppose I need to make some friends who are also gay so I can go out with them. The reason I say this is because I don’t want to put any of my male friends in the awkward situation where I wanted to go out to a gay bar and they felt they had to go but wouldn’t feel comfortable with it. This happened on my birthday where I basically had to lie and say I was tired and going home and then went to a gay bar on my own, because I didn’t want to put them in that situation (even though they probably would have been fine with it, and was more to do with me not being ‘out’ at that time). Now maybe they would be totally cool with it but it is not something I have spoken to people about so don’t want to just spring it on people and make them feel they have to go along with it. The same is with my ‘girlfriends’ (imagine I have just done that Gok Wan gesture – I’m rubbish at this in real life). Is it something they would be cool with doing or not. The other option is I go out on my own. Now I don’t mind doing things on my own but there must be nothing more depressing than going to a bar on your own, I would just feel sad and desperate (I probably am and in fact I have done this and did feel like this). At the end of the day I am just trying to find where I fit in. I know doing nothing is not an option. I am not going to find Mr Right or even Mr. Not that bad,  by staying inside. Last night it really got to me. I’m 30 still at home and single and in on a Saturday night, to make it even worse the wine I got was absolutely disgusting. If anyone has any ideas on how to kick start my life then please let me know, even if it is brutally honest.

Well that is about it for this week. Just to update you on last weeks poll to find out which was the best Teenage Mutant Hero/Ninja Turtle. The result was Michelangelo (good choice everyone).

Thanks again for putt up with my ranting and weekly ramblings, I do appreciate it.


Top TV programme of the week : Question Time

Top song of the week: Owl City – Galaxies

Book I am currently reading: Lucky Jim by Kingsley Amis