This week I was expecting to be in a lot of pain and be unable to walk after completing the Great North Run. But surprisingly I have been OK. When I first got up on Monday morning I was very stiff and in pain a bit but as I moved around it eased off. My left foot still aches a bit but I have always had a bit of a weakness with that foot. This all suggests that my fitness levels are not as bad as I thought they were, the training must have helped after all. I have to say though I have had such a great response from people about the Great North Run. Thanks to everyone who has sponsored me and paid up. It’s still not too late to sponsor me. See last weeks blog for details. I have also had lots of updates from the Great North Run organisers about the official pictures and video and even a detailed running report. It is amazing how they have been able to do this by using our running number. I haven’t ordered any official photo’s yet but I probably will do soon.

They say there is calm before the storm. I can’t actually remember when the calm bit was but I am certainly going through the storm.  Normally this time of year is busy for me but I am usually quite upbeat. I generally love this time of year because of the autumn colours and smells and it is the start of uni. Although I have finished uni a long time ago I still usually get that buzz as I work in a uni.  For whatever reason I am not feeling this at the moment, although this might change when term starts in a week. I think my biggest problem is not having a proper holiday. I haven’t had time  to totally switch off and be myself.  I think if I had gone away for a few days I would feel a bit better. Next year I must make it a priority.

I can always tell when I am feeling a bit low as I usually just listening to purely songs from musicals on my iPod. I know this very stereotypical but it does pick me up a bit. It has reminded me however that I haven’t been to the theatre for ages. The last time I went to the theatre was February for the ballet and I haven’t seen a musical since Oliver! and that was a couple of years ago. And I call myself a culture vulture, I should hang my head in shame. I suppose I did see Elaine Paige earlier this year but it is still not the same as seeing a full show in a theatre. I anyone fancies a trip to the theatre to see either musical or a play then let me know.

I suppose the best solution would be a trip to London really. There is so much to do and see there. Its been a couple of years since my last visit and I would love to go back. There is nothing better than an evening walk along the South Bank or going to see  a West End Show or visiting Tate Modern ( I could sit for hours looking at the Monet painting). It is strange this alluring appeal for the city. Twitter doesn’t help either as I follow a lot of people who are from London and they just have such a great lifestyle. Before you all say something I know the grass isn’t always greener and it is just practical but it would be nice to try. Sadly I have no holiday left for this year so the earliest will be next year but that is year of the Olympics so will probably be way to expensive.

I think the other appeal of a city is that there is the potential to meet more people. I am quickly realising that being a gay man is hard in a small town. I need to meet more gay people and have more gay friends. I might be just being paranoid but I think some people just don’t know what to do with me. Who can blame them really ,I don’t know what to do with me. Seriously though it is hard to find my place. Some of my friends are great and are totally open with me. Some people though have distanced themselves. It is like there are the girls, the guys and me. I suppose I just want someone in my corner. I might have to try a Monday night again sometime or Newcastle. When I came out and discussed things with a friend he said I had wasted so much time. I knew he was right but didn’t realise how right he was. He was brave enough to deal with this earlier and although it wasn’t easy for him he the life he wants now. I suppose I just think maybe I have missed my chance. This might not be the case but it is a concern I have.

Sorry for being a bit down this week. Hopefully next week will be better, although I predict otherwise and that’s not me being defeatist its me being realistic. Oh well as they in theatre the show must go on.

Top TV programme of the week : Downton Abbey

Top song of the week: Glee Cast – Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead

Book I am currently reading: White Oleander by Janet Fitch