This has been a week of tiredness, irritability, stress and basically feeling run down. So with this in mind there is a strong likely hood that this weeks blog will involve some ranting (in fact you have probably already guessed that this is going to be the case). I know I am not the only person who is feeling this way at the moment but they are not doing my blog, and my blog is meant to reflect my mood and activities of the past 7 days warts and all so that is why I am mentioning it.

It is this time of year when I leave for work in the dark and come home in the dark. Even during the day I am not even near a window to see the outside world. This all adds to the feeling of tiredness and irritability.  I know I should probably try to go out at lunchtime some days but it is not always possible. It is days like this that it would be nice to come home to someone special. I know I sound all soppy but surely coming home to a loved on must take away some of the gloom. It may not solve the problem but I am sure it does help.

Regular readers of my blog will know that for a few weeks now I have been feeling tired and as I have already mentioned the dark mornings and evenings are contributing to this. They are not the only reason though. I think the year is starting to catch up with me. I have had a lot on this year and although its been necessary, the events of the last year have taken their toll. I said this year was about putting myself first and to some extent I have done that, although I certainly could do a lot more. However it is apparent that I need to make some time for myself as well. It’s not possible for a holiday this year but I certainly need a chill out/break next year. There are other things I can do but I would feel guilty about some things as it would be quite selfish asking for some time just for me but I might have to do it.

With all of this running through my head I suppose it is no surprise that I have been feeling reflective. It is not even the end of the year and I am already wishing the year over. I think it’s because I am trying to work out what happens next at the same time that I am trying to make sense of where I am. Yeah I have made some big decisions in my life and I suppose really I am just wanting assurance that I am doing things right.  Somethings are out of my control but other things are up to me. I have to make some decisions  some are easy to do but others might be hard to do  but I know I have made harder decisions and this surely will help me move forward. I also think that my tiredness is affecting my gaydar as over the last few weeks it has been hyper sensitive. I think I need reboot.

In a previous blog I mentioned  my difficulty in finding some decent fashionable jeans/chinos. Well if you were wondering how my search is going (If you weren’t wondering then fine but I am telling you anyway) well I am still at square one.  This is not for a want of trying. I have visited so many different clothes shops only to met with either standard blue or black or in the case of M&S beige chinos. When I finally do see some coloured chinos/jeans they are either skinny, slim fit, carrot (still don’t know what style that is meant to be). All I ask is that somewhere does some straight leg or boot cut chinos/jeans in a different colour such as purple/red etc. It seems to me that clothes shops are not catering for the 30-year-old guy. They are aimed at either teenagers of the over 50’s. Well attention fashion guru’s 30 year olds also want to wear some decent and fashionable clothes. don’t they realise that 30 is the new 20. The more I think about it this may even be the reason why the world economy is in such a bad state. OK so the bankers were to blame as well, but I do believe that the increase in skinny/slim/carrot chinos/jeans has coincided with the economic downturn all because 30-year-old men can’t buy some plum coloured chinos.  While on the subject of shopping I must mention the incident I had today while attempting to shop. I say attempting because of the reason already mentioned and poor customer service. while looking for these elusive chinos I came across a really nice and stylish cardigan (Hey stopping shaking your head I am a librarian after all). Unfortunately they didn’t have my size on the rail so I went to find a member of staff to ask if there had anymore in. To my surprise the only staff member on the floor was serving on the till. This is shocking not only is it bad customer service but also bad security. Anyway I joined the queue and asked the shop assistant if they had anymore of the cardigans but in my size. She replied ‘Have you checked on the rail ? All stock is put out.  I politely pointed out that I had obviously checked the rail as I had a smaller size in my hand and would not be asking if they had any. No wonder shops on the high street are struggling when they a) don’t cater for everyone and b)have staff with attitudes like that. I know retail is tough industry to work in, I’ve done it and worn the many t-shirts but good customer service is still expected.


Top TV programme of the week : Merlin

Top song of the week: Ed Sheeran – Lego House

Book I am currently reading: The Slap by Christos Tsiolkas