What a difference a year makes. A year ago I turned 30 and despite me dreading the idea I actually really enjoyed it and embraced it all and made things happen for myself last year. I felt a sense of positiveness and for the first time I felt like I was my own person. This year that ‘up and at them’ attitude appears to have up and gone and I can feel myself slipping back into my old ways of letting things happen around me and not getting involved in things, basically I’m not saying ‘yes’ to opportunities. Instead I am saying ‘can’t be bothered’. I need to change this quickly and make the whole of my 30’s, not just last year a time for embracing new things and putting myself first. I suppose I have thought about this more last week because it was my birthday and I realised that I have a long way to go before I can be happy with myself. I need to improve my appearance and find my own style, I want to be more confident in myself and my abilities. I look at other people either younger than me or the same age and they seem so much more confident and self-assured and I’m just not like that. Maybe it is just me but everywhere I look I get the idea everyone is doing this and I need to start catching up. I know I have made some changes in my life but I need to make more,and this means looking at everything and making some decisions that might be tough but I’ve put off for too long.

As I’ve mentioned already this week was my birthday and I had a nice time but still got a dose of the birthday blues. I think this is because last year was so great and this year was a lot more low-key so didn’t have the same buzz. I have delayed my celebrations until this week due to January being such a rubbish month for people so hopefully it should be a good week. I’m just going for drinks and food which will be good and I doubt they will be messy nights although I have no problem with that either, I certainly feel I need a good night out. I look back to last year and I had a brilliant time and I am certainly going to do that again sometime and it doesn’t even have to be for my birthday.

For a while now I have been thinking this but this weekend I have made my mind up. I’m too old for Topman. When I went in the other day they had a DJ playing music amongst the skinny jeans and slim fit tops with slogans from TOWIE (The Only Way Is Essex). What does REEM mean anyway and do I really want that on a t-shirt? As I looked around I realised the rest of the shop looked like they should be members of One Direction and that even included the staff. It does pose a question though where to get something that is appropriate for my age but also stylish. Suggestions please.

It looks like the end of the gingerbread latte has arrived. Well until Christmas anyway as my local store has now used their last of it. Apparently Toffee Nut is usually more popular but this year Gingerbread latte has become a bigger seller. Me and my big mouth I should have kept quiet and it might have lasted more. Just hope the Durham store still has some they seem to still have some Creme Brule Macchiato left and that was way before the Gingerbread so maybe I have a few weeks of gingerness to go.

Finally as a Star Wars geek I feel I have to say something about the treatment of the Jedi Master Yoda in the latest Vodaphone advert. How did he fall on such hard times that he is now forced to advertise a mobile phone. He doesn’t even need phones to communicate he uses his Jedi powers and the force. Then to add to the insult they even have people wondering what he tastes like. What next I ask? Will it be a Chewbacca fitness DVD or will we see Darth Maul on the next series of Strictly come Dancing or even Jar Jar Binks on Celebrity Big Brother. I hope I’m wrong and that balance is soon restored to the force.

Thanks again for reading the blog and any suggestions on what style I should go for or where to shop then please let me know. Anyway have a good week and will be back blogging next week.

Top TV programme of the week : Dancing On Ice

Top song of the week: Owl City – The Real World

Book I am currently reading: David Copperfield by Charles Dickens

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