Last weeks blog was full of things that I had been involved in during the week. This weeks blog though will be shorter as I haven’t done anywhere near as much which is probably a good thing. However it has been a busy week in other ways.

The week started off quite badly. We all have days where it seems there is a grey cloud above our heads. Well Monday was one of those days. I wasn’t in the best of moods and things got worse. I got told some home truths which to be honest I did need saying to me but it just added to my mood and then got me thinking about other things. I don’t know if this was because of what was said of the timing of it but things really hit home. I am in a strange position. I need to find the balance between putting myself first and becoming blinkered to those around me. Maybe its a male thing we can’t do two things at once and when you throw in emotions and feelings then we stand no chance. I have always said my friends are important to me and this last year has reminded me of that. It took a lot for me to turn to them when I needed to and I hope that they can find the strength to do it if they ever need to. Sometimes I can come across as moody especially over little things or so it seems to people. the thing is that small thing is usually not the cause of my mood but I use it to get my frustrations out without having said what the real issue is. Its  like the worse from of safety feature but that’s what I use. I know it’s not right but I do it. I thought that it only affected me but I heard it may put people off from asking for help or just wanting a chat. This is not what I mean to do and I want people to be able to talk to me about things if they want to. Whatever it is I won’t respond negatively, just let me in.

I think one of my frustrations is where I fit in. I’ve mentioned this before in previous blogs. A lot of my friends are girls and we do get on great but there are times when they don’t want a guy around and I totally understand and trust me at some of those times I know I don’t want to be around. It does mean though I am sometimes left wandering at will as it were. I don’t have that trusted best mate to just hang out with and go for drinks with or play computer games with or meet other guys. Basically I need a wingman ideally a gay wingman but straight applicants may apply. Seriously though I need something to help me with balance of putting myself first and looking out for my friends. Sorry to start the blog all deep and meaningful but I needed to clarify some things and I find that my blog is the best way to do that. I find it easier to talk to you all on here as my safety mechanisms don’t kick in as much.

Anyway in other news. I watched my very first episode of Made in Chelsea and can vow to you all that I will never do it again. They are just horrible and selfish people who are so unreal. Seriously one of them is called Proudlock it sounds like a character from Lord of The Rings. The worrying thing is there are lots of people like this. We live in a strange world.

At work myself and some of my colleagues have been talking about super heroes. This has all come about since we have seen Avengers Assemble. It got us talking about librarians and how there is no major super hero as a librarian. Now before you say anything I know there is Batgirl but seriously she ain’t a proper super hero. Other major contenders are Giles from Buffy. Although he has contributed to saving the world he hasn’t done it on his own. So I think it is time for a librarian super hero. There is already a librarian action figure (seriously there is, the deluxe edition even comes with a computer and a shelving trolley but no cape), but it needs to go further. Librarians are a special breed. Even in Dr Who there is a Library Planet. The librarian super hero in my mind would have various super powers. These include the ability to find answers to everything, the power to silence and with the tipping of horn rimmed glasses send fear into the enemy. When it comes to the outfit I am hoping not for lycra (librarians are designed for lycra) but I do hope there is a cape involved. This may not be practical but it will look awesome when on a sweeping staircase. So if any executives from Marvel are reading this then please do something about this idea but I do want some of the credit for it.

Its funny looking at this post at how I started it with the reality of my current situation and ended it with my dreams for a super hero. I don’t need to be a super hero I just need to be me and that is a bigger journey than I thought and I don’t even have a cape.

Well until next time, bye for now.

Top TV programme of the week : Shakespeare In Italy

Top song of the week: Glee Cast – Cell Block Tango

Book I am currently reading: Sirens by Tom Reynolds

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