This has been a week a bit like a football match a week of two halves. The first was very busy and tiring which left me in a bit of a mood while the second half was a bit better. What the final score is I don’t know I’ll let you decide.

On Monday it was the bake-off at work. I mentioned this in last weeks blog. We were asked to all bake something and enter into the work bake-off. Know one would know who’s was who’s and we would all vote for our favourite. It turned out there were 16 entries. Which of course means a lot of cake but it also means nerves. I didn’t think I would be competitive over it. I have only just got into baking and I do enjoy it, its fun. But this competition made me feel anxious. I work with some great people who are also great bakers. I think it goes with the job. If you work in libraries you have to be able to make cake. In fact it might be more essential to bake than understand Dewey. The standard was high and I made something I hadn’t done before. As you are all aware up to now I have just done cupcakes. Because it was meant to be secret I decided not to do cupcakes as people would think it was me. I did tell people this but some thought it was a double bluff and thought the cupcakes that were in the competition were mine. Instead I made a chocolate cake. You can’t really go too wrong with a chocolate cake. In turns out three other people also thought the same so I was in tough battle. The tasting took place at break time and I was on second break, the quieter  slot. All I wanted to see when I went down was that at least one person had tried it. I walked in the staff room hoping to see lots of people eating my cake but they weren’t. They hadn’t touched it. It was the only cake not touched, I could have cried. In this weeks final of the Great British Bake Off the contestant John says “people think bakers are these dainty little housewives but they’re not, they’re quite controlling people who want to be told they’re loved – well that’s why I’m in it”, that summed up a feeling I had. I wanted to be told it was good I know its selfish and I’m not proud of feeling that way but thats what I felt. It was also the only cake without a knife. I tried a few pieces of different cakes even a bit of my own. They were all good. I voted for the Honey Loaf which was delicious.

It will come as no surprise then that I didn’t win. I suppose deep down I knew I wouldn’t. Only the top 3 were announced and the winner got 10 votes. I did ask afterwards how many votes I got and apparently it was 4. This boosted my confidence about my baking ability and once people knew the result and knew which was mine I did hear very good comments. So my pride is restored. I did not expect a fun cake competition to make me feel like this. Oh well I suppose there is always next time. I dread to think what I would be like if I was on the television show. I would be an emotional wreck.

It wasn’t all bad news though on Monday as I did win something. I got a message to say I had won tickets to see Great Expectations at the Civic theatre in Darlington for the next day. I had thought about going to see it but as I usually do I hadn’t got around to sorting it out, so it was nice to have unexpected trip to the theatre. I quite enjoyed the production but if I’m honest wasn’t blown away. The set was amazing but was just the one scene, Miss Havisham’s wedding room. the story was narrated by an older version of Pip while the scenes were all played out in front of him. Paula Wilcox was great as Miss Havisham and Taylor Jay-Davies who played Younger Pip was also good and really suited the role. There was some over acting from other cast members though I think this was to represent the over the top description Dickens gives his characters in his books. This works in books but not on stage and it should have been played down a bit. Overall the mood was too jolly and it’s not a jolly story and I think that’s why I wasn’t blown away. With that said it was still good and I did have a nice night out at the theatre.

On Tuesday I thought I was coming down with Freshers Flu. As I felt lousy this added to my mood I just wasn’t feeling great, nothing major just some things I need to decide on which wasn’t helped by feeling lousy. The next day I did feel better but still a bit moody. Things did get a bit better later on in the week though.

One of the things that helped me was my bucket list. I said in last Sunday’s blog I was going to publish my bucket list this week. Well for those regular readers you will know I posted my bucket list mid-week. I felt this was a better idea as it was quite long and deserved a blog post on its own. It was good to write. I looked at what other people had on their and I realised a lot of things I had already done, such as go on safari, go rafting, etc. What was interesting was listening and reading people’s reaction to the list. They all had valid points but the list is about me. It’s a list of experiences I want to have. I have no desire to bungee jump so that’s why it’s not on their. Some people also thought that I should only have things on that I control. Life’s not like that you can’t do everything on your own and also sometimes you want to share experiences. The list helped me focus on moving forward and more importantly realise I have already done a lot in my life and I haven’t really acknowledged that. I will keep people up to date with my progress with the list and thanks to all of those who have read it and reacted positively it means a lot.

After a long and tiring week at work I was feeling a bit emotional and run down but then I had a thank you e-mail from a library user who I had helped earlier. It was just a little thing I did and no bother at all but it was nice to have someone say “Thank You”. I have folder in my e-mails which is for nice things like that. It is quite empty but there are some things. I think it is important to keep things like that so that when you have your low day you have something to remind you of the good things.

Well on that note. I will say goodbye until next week.

Thanks for reading.

Top Programme of the Week – Downton Abbey

Top Song of the Week – One Direction – Live While We’re Young

Book I Am Currently Reading – The Sense Of An Ending by Julian Barnes