Another week, another blog. This week has been one of those weeks where nothing seems to have happened but I feel it has. As the title of the blog says “it’s personal,myself and I, we’ve got some straightening out to do”. I know that sounds ironic coming from a 31 yr old gay man [my sexuality is one thing I am happy with] but its the best way to describe where I am and have been for a while.
Before I start getting philosophical here are some other things from the week.There has been a bit a culinary theme to this week. On Thursday night I made so of my now nearly famous cupcakes for work on Friday. I am really loving baking at the moment and I want to try new recipes. In a strange sort of way it is quite relaxing, which is so far removed from my Home Economics (what a pointless name for a subject) where I constantly felt under pressure with time. It was like a bad version of Masterchef. I think I enjoy it because I feel a sense of achievement and I don’t usually get that feeling. The other culinary experience I had was on Saturday night. No it wasn’t the scallops off my bucket list it was a pizza which had Amoretti biscuits sprinkled on it along with mushrooms, pumpkin, truffle oil and cheese. It sounds weird but did taste really good. It does make me wonder though how a Chef thought of that, chances are it was by accident.
I finally finished watching Glee Season 3 this week and maybe that’s why I am feeling a bit sentimental as it does seem to be one of the effects I get from this programme. I also discovered I have one of the exact same tops that Kurt wears, this isn’t that relevant but I thought it was worth saying. So much is changing at the moment that I just want to get on and let things carry on around me. When I say I want that what I really mean is I feel distant from things that are happening really close to me but I think its best to let them go on without me. Things always change and maybe I have been too long looking at the change and not thinking about where I fit in with this change. Maybe I’m just being hyper sensitive or just getting old, I don’t know. I said a few weeks ago that I was writing the rest of the year off and that’s what I’m going to have to do. However I am going to have to make sure 2013 is one hell of a great year for me as I can’t waste anymore time. I need to find that energy and drive I had last year ready for next year. I am surrounded by such great people and they are either doing amazing things or are on the verge of doing so and they don’t even see it. Some of them have such exciting opportunities about to start. This week somebody said that will be you one day, and as much as I would love to think it could be I can’t see how it will. Maybe know one is meant to see how it happens, maybe it just does.
Re-reading this blog post so far I realise it’s a bit vague but its the best I can do in regards to describing how I’m feeling at the moment. Thanks for reading and rest assured I am fine honestly I just need to find ‘me’.
So until next week then.
Top Programme of the Week – Hebburn
Top Song of the Week – Glee Cast – Big Girls Don’t Cry
Book I Am Currently Reading – Devil May Care by Sebastian Faulks