Hi everyone and thanks for coming back this week after last week’s blog. Hopefully this week’s blog will be a bit more upbeat. Anyway here goes.

First of all I want to talk about last week’s blog post. Some people were a bit worried about me and a bit upset which honestly wasn’t my intention at all. I am fine honest but those thoughts and doubts that I expressed were there and still are I suppose. I am my own worst enemy and I realised that looking back over an old journal (pre blogs I know) April seemed to have this effect on me or maybe  that is just a coincidence. I did debate with myself before last weeks blog about writing what was on my mind but I reminded myself that the reason I do this blog is first of all to get things out of my head that are on my mind and it does help me. Guys are not good talking about things. In our heads we know what to say and want to say but something happens between the brain and the mouth and it doesn’t always come out as clear as we thought it sounded in our heads. That’s why I use the blog as it does have the draft and delete function which my brain and my mouth doesn’t, although it still doesn’t come out as clear as I sometimes want. I know we all have things going on in our lives and sometimes we open up and sometimes we don’t. There are still things I keep private but I realise that sometimes I need to open up. Guys don’t usually have that person who they can just pour their souls out to (and probably most guys don’t want to do this either). Girls always seems to have someone who they can phone up and have a moan or cry with. Maybe this is not the case at all and I have been watching too many American sitcoms/dramas. I know when we see people in the street or workplace, pub etc Everyone asks ‘How are you?’ and we are all guilty of ‘I’m fine thanks’ even when we are not it’s just that we know you probably don’t want to hear it all. If I kept it all bottled up I would be worse so I suppose at least attempting to talk about how I’m feeling is helping in some way. Does it solve the problem? No not straight away but it can help take some of the anxiety away even if just for a short while. Anyway thanks for putting up with it all (I didn’t lose too many Twitter followers) and to those of you who were worried and spoke ‘thanks it meant a lot’.

As last week was my major moan and rant I suppose it is only fair that I look at some of the good things in my life to balance things out. Despite all the gloom I do realise how lucky I am (hoping this is not jinxing anything) I am a healthy 32-year-old gay guy with some friends and a family that do care and are supportive. It’s not that long ago that it would have been illegal for me to be openly gay (some countries it still is) so I’m thankful I live in a country that is becoming more and more accepting of sexuality. I have had a decent education and have had some opportunities to travel. I have met some amazing people and will continue to meet new and inspiring people. I have a job I love and this has led to some great experiences and hopefully  will continue to allow me to have some more great experiences and opportunities. Of course I want more and I have dreams for the future and that’s what my bucket list is for. It’s my way of reminding me of what I want from life and where I want to be. So things might not be perfect but there is some good around.

OK now I have got the deep and meaningful stuff over with. Here is what else has been going on this week.

I picked up my new glasses this week. I loved my other glasses but moisture kept getting in between the lens and the frames creating big black marks and it didn’t look good and was distracting while reading. I had been back a number of times to Specsavers and they just cleaned them but I had enough and got a replacement pair. However as soon I picked them up and left the store I noticed 5 minutes later the problem was already there.  So I took them back and they apologised and would sort it. So I was left sat in the waiting area blind as a bat while they fixed them. They do seem ok at the moment but I will see how they go. One thing for sure when I next go for an eye-test and glasses it won’t be Specsavers.

This week was a weeks holiday for me. It was chance for a nice break from the daily commute and early mornings. I was  in desperate need of it and that was probably partly behind my moans last week as well. I didn’t plan to do much this week expect rest and recharge. I did think about going out on Monday night (local gay friendly night) as usually it’s not ideal when at work the next day, so a week off is a chance to do this. However I was just too tired and also I had Broadchurch to watch (does anyone have any ideas on who’s done it? I’m guessing the drunk old guy in the hotel as he is the only one so far who hasn’t been made a suspect). This is a bad excuse I know and actually I probably should have forced myself out as I keep saying I’m not going to meet anyone stuck at home. However I do feel a lot better for having a rest this week and I have done some stuff so it hasn’t all been wasted. Next time I’m off I promise I’ll go out on a Monday night honestly I will.

One of the things I did do was tidy up in my bedroom. Yep living the dream as always. Most of my room is fine but in one corner it is/was just a dumping ground and it was driving me mad. So I decided to sort out the area with my stereo and the stuff underneath it. There were a of boxes next to this as well but I wasn’t going to tackle this as that would be a massive sort out and job and I only decided to do this on Thursday afternoon. However once I moved the stand my stereo was on the rest just collapsed so I ended up doing most of the other stuff. This took longer than I was planning but it did need doing and it was productive (I know can open my other wardrobe).

After doing this work I thought it was only right that I rewarded myself with a trip to the cinema. I went to see Oblivion which is the latest Tom Cruise movie. I have of course seen Tom Cruise films but never on the big screen. Tom Crusies latest films haven’t been great. Rock of Ages was ok I suppose but I could have lived happily without the image of him on the snooker/billiard table. Oblivion is worse. At least Rock of Ages didn’t take itself too seriously. I thought Oblivion was just slow to start and would get going. The problem was when it sort of got going it didn’t really know where it was going (if you have seen it please let me know what your thoughts were at the end). I won’t say anymore as I don’t want to spoilt it for anyone who is planning on seeing it.

Anyway thanks again for sticking with the blog and feel free to comment or get in touch with me if you want to talk.

Top Programme of the Week – Victoria Wood’s Nice Cup Of Tea

Top Song of the Week – Blue – If You Come Back

Book I Am Currently Reading – This Thing Of Darkness – Harry Thompson

Celeb Spot of the Week

Gareth Gates