Hello everyone and welcome to my latest blog post. Apparently according to WordPress stats this will be my 200th blog post, which is quite an impressive milestone I suppose. I’ll get on to discussing this further on but in the mean time if you are sitting comfortably then I’ll begin.

Well this week I was back to work after my week off. I was quite pleased to be back but had a lot of catch up to do. It was only a week but still I didn’t feel like I had caught up until Friday really. I do feel like there’s been a change at work in me I can’t put my finger on it but things feel different. I don’t mean in a bad way but it just does. It’s not just me dressing smarter it’s more than that but can’t quite figure it out. Maybe I’m thinking too much about it. Anyway despite this it was good to be back and I am looking forward to my next break which will be in November.

On top of me having a busy week at work I was also thinking about me, life and the universe. You know nice easy topics to mull over your morning coffee on my daily commute. I knew I had it bad when I started listening to my Soul Searching Playlist. This is a list of songs that I hope will help me find the answers to these things. The first half of the year things were all up in the air and moving quite fast now it has slowed down and I’m looking at what next in my life. I’m scared things are passing me by I suppose. Friends are all settled down with families or in relationships and I’m that person whois just plodding along, the single friend know one quite knows what to do with. I thought I would look again at my bucket list to get some inspiration and realised I have a lot of work to do on this list but nothing really seemed to be the answer for the way I’m feeling. So I decided to think about what exactly is on my mind when I think about my future and I came up with these things.

1) Getting old before my time: I know I’m not a twenty something anymore and the days of me clubbing may be behind me but I am only 32 and I should still be a young guy doing fun and exciting things. Instead I find myself sitting in on a night when all I want is to be out meeting others.

2)Being alone : OK by not going out this only going to make this more realistic but it is a worry for me or am I just undatable?.  I need to get out and meet other people. I am a young professional guy and should be in trendy wine bars and dinner parties and having weekend breaks, date nights etc.

3) The need to move out: This is becoming a necessity. I do love my parents but I have outgrown home and it is getting me down and it’s a bit suffocating. I had hoped that this September I would have moved out but it’s not quite financially possible so it more realistic for early 2014. Maybe this will help me feel more independent and grown up

4) Losing my identity: OK this sounds a bit dramatic but there is some truth in it. I’m wearing clothes that are smart and practical rather than going for style and design. This is only adding to some insecurities about how I look. This is an area of low confidence.

To an outsider these concerns may seem small and trivial but they are praying on my mind and they need addressing by me at some point. Hopefully the answers will come.

OK enough of the deep and meaningful stuff. In other news I did some more baking this weekend. I was feeling a bit annoyed at the cupcakes I made the weekend before and wanted to get my baking mojo back. So this weekend I decided to make chocolate brownies. I have never made chocolate brownie from scratch before. The closest I have got is a packet mix when I was at uni which was good but not as good as proper homemade brownies. I was really pleased with how they have turned out. I feel like my baking mojo is coming back after these. Also I do think the ability to make a good chocolate brownie makes me good boyfriend material. Anyway I think next its my turn at making cookies as I have some Dr Who cookie cutters that need using.

Today it was the Great North Run and I want to say congratulations to everyone who took part. Two years ago I did it and despite how tough it was it was an awesome experience and I still treasure my medal. Watching it on the TV today I almost wished I was doing it this year although the weather was not appealing. Maybe I will do it again sometime it would give me a good excuse to lose some weight and getter fitter.

At the start of this post I said this was my 200th blog post. I only know this because WordPress tells me it is. I didn’t think I would keep blogging this long. I do  enjoy doing it but it can be tough especially trying to think of things that are interesting and at the same time remembering I have an audience. When I started this I didn’t think anyone would read it. Now I average about 188 visitors and over 400 hits a month and 50 subscribers  and it has been read all around the world. Some of these people I know others I don’t but I do appreciate you all find the time to read it. The whole purpose of the blog was for me to be open and honest to myself and others about what is going on in my life. Knowing I have an audience makes me aware that sometime I can’t be as honest as I want to be but that’s more diplomacy than anything I suppose. Anyway thanks for reading these 200 blog posts and here is to the next 200. Hopefully they will be a but more upbeat than this one has.

Anyway until the next one that’s it for now.

 

Top Programme of the Week – Great British Bake Off

Top Song of the Week – Neutron Star Collision – Muse

Book I Am Currently Reading – The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry by Rachel Joyce

 

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