Hi and welcome to this weeks blog post. This week I will talk about wellbeing, ‘Reasons To Stay Alive the Play’, anniversary’s and trying to find good out of tough situation. So let’s get started.

This week has been about me vs myself and the week in general. I have had a busy few weeks personally and at work. Self care hasn’t been top of my priories and that is having an impact. This week I had the charity walk for St.Teresa’s Hospice to do. Although it was going to be something positive I was worried about how I would be emotionally to do it at the end of the week. I knew this week would be mix of emotions but it was at times over whelming. Friday was the 15th anniversary of my grandads death and it also would have been the 76th birthday of my Dad. It seemed to be this massive thing as the week went along and each day it got me a bit more. Anyway this how my week went.

On Tuesday night I was at the theatre (yes again) to see ‘Reasons To Stay Alive’. This was an adaptation of Matt Haig’s book of the same title. Having read the book I was curious how it could translate to the stage but it did. I had been feeling a bit yucky during the day (I put it down to anxiety) but when I got to Newcastle I felt a bit overwhelmed with things. Not sure if it was a panic attack or not. It was a sign I was letting things get to me. Ironic I know because of the topic of the play but still there you go. I managed to cope with the situation and then went for food before the theatre. This helped me relax ready for the show.

The play was really good and it transferred to the stage very well. For me good theatre should challenge the audience. The audience should be emotionally engaged. ‘Reasons To Stay Alive’ did this. I cried and laughed and felt happy by the end. It is a great play and I would recommend going to see it if you can.

On Friday it was the big day. Just calling it that added pressure on myself when I didn’t need it but hey that seems to be what I do. On the night I was taking part in the Moonlight and Memories walk for St Teresa’s Hospice. It wasn’t a long walk but it meant a lot emotional because of the significance of the date. With hindsight I should have taken the day off work but due to not having enough annual leave and a large amount of work to do I went in. I also thought because I would be so busy it would take my mind off things instead of sitting thinking at home.

On the way to work I was listening to new music on Spotify and James Blunts new song ‘Monsters’ came on. Due to a combination of the day and the words in the song I found myself crying on the train. Hopefully because there was still some rain on my glasses people have thought it was that. I had another wobble at lunchtime and tried to just find some time for myself which wasn’t easy.

When I have wobbles like I did this week it does get to me and I know that the people around me find it difficult as well. Sometimes they understand sometimes they don’t . I’m sorry for this but I have also had to stop worrying about this too. Since my counselling, the days I have wobbles have got less but I am human and I know they will still happen. I cope better than I did but it’s an ongoing process. I am not making excuses I am just trying to be honest.

The walk on the night went well. There were a lot of people there and we were split into groups.Everyone was there for a different reason. For me to I wanted some time to think about my Grandad and my Dad. I managed to do this but because of the number of people it wasn’t as quiet as I expected. After the walk I bumped into the person who gave the counselling. It was nice to see him and it felt as if it rounded off the last 12 months. I wanted to do the walk because of the date and the significance with my Grandad and Dad but also as a way of saying thank you to the Hospice for the help they gave me this year. Many people think of the Hospice as a place to go and die. Yes one of the services they offer is end of life care but they offer a huge range of services to the families of patients so that they can live their lives again. I am eternally grateful to them for this and that is why I was taking part to try and raise money. So far I have raised £197 + Gift Aid. The JustGiving Page is open until the end of the month so if you wish to still donate then you can.

Before I finish I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who has sponsored me so far. You all know who you are. It means a lot and it has kept me going this week. I have struggled this week and had a few wobbles but hopefully by doing the walk something good has happened and that is more important then anything else.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Song of the Week – James Blunt – Monsters

Top TV Programme of the Week – Love In The Countryside

Book I Am Currently Reading – How To Fail by Elizabeth Day

Top Podcast of the Week – Dan Snow’s History Hit